Saturday, November 12, 2011

Season 8, Episode 9: Dark Was the Night

"I had a terrible day. We say it all the time. A fight with the boss, a stomach flu, traffic. That's what we describe as terrible. When nothing terrible is happening."

"It seems quaint now, doesn't it? The flood in the kitchen, the poison oak, the fight that leaves you shaking with rage. Would it have helped if we could see what else was coming? Would we have known that those were the been the best moments of our lives?"

Friday, November 4, 2011

Season 8, Episode 8: Heart-Shaped Box

"Say you're in the OR. Repairing the Vena Cava. When suddenly, everything goes to hell. So, you cut this, suture that and soon, that crappy situation is a thing of the past. Too bad you can't meet all of life's challenges with a surgical scalpel. I mean... you could try. But I'm pretty sure that would be considered assault."

"It's a little bit horrifying just how quickly everything can fall to crap. Sometimes, it takes a huge loss to remind you of what you care about the most. Sometimes, you find yourself becoming stronger as a result. Wiser, better equipped to deal with the next disaster that comes along. Sometimes... but not always."

Friday, October 28, 2011

Season 8, Episode 7: Put Me In, Coach

“Surgeons can't be lazy. The risks are too great. The second we stop pushing ourselves, something terrible happens. Something we never see coming.”

“So we may not always be winners. But we're not lazy. We take chances, we go for broke, swing for the fences... And sometimes, yeah. We strike out. But sometimes, you get a home run.”

Friday, October 21, 2011

Season 8, Episode 6: Poker Face

"As babies, we were easy. One cry meant you were hungry, another you were tired. It's only as adults that we become difficult. We start to hide our feelings, put up walls. It gets to the point when we never really know how anyone thinks or feels. Without meaning to, we become masters of disguise."

"It's not always easy to speak your mind. Sometimes you need to be forced to do it. Sometimes it's better to just keep things to yourself though. Play dumb. Even when your whole body is aching to come clean. So you shut your mouth. Keep the secret. And find other ways to make yourself happy."

Source: http://www.meredith-and-derek.com/quotes/149

Monday, October 17, 2011

Season 8, Episode 5: Love, Loss and Legacy

“A human body is designed to compensate for loss. It adapts, so it no longer needs the thing it can't have. But sometimes, the loss is too great, and the body can't compensate on its own. That's when surgeons get involved.”

“We're so hopeful at the beginning of things. But it seems like there is only a world to be gained. Not lost. They say inability to except loss is a for of insanity. It's probably true. But sometimes… it's the only way to stay alive.”

Season 8, Episode 4: What Is It About Men

“There are distinct differences between male and female brains. Female brains have a larger Hippocampus. Which usually makes them better at attention and memory. Male brains have a bigger parietal cortex. Which helps when fending off an attack. Male brains confront challenges differently than female brains. Woman are hardwired to communicate with language, detail, empathy. Men, not so much. It doesn't mean that we're any less capable of emotion. We can talk about our feelings, it's just that… most of the time, we'd really rather not. “

“Be a man. People say it all the time. But what does that even mean? Is it about strength? Is it about sacrifice? Is it about winning? Maybe it's simpler than that. You have to know when not to man up. Sometimes it takes a real men to set his ego aside, admit defeat and start all over again.”

Season 8, Episode 3: Take the Lead

“You work, you study, you prepare. Months and years leading to one day. The day when you step up. On that day, you have to be ready for everything. But there's one thing you can never quite prepare for: a day when you step down.”

“Sometimes, it happens in an instant. We step up. We become a leader. We see a path, and we take it. Even when we have no idea where we are going.”

Season 8, Episode 2: She's Gone

“When my mother left my father, she didn't tell him she was leaving him and taking me with her until we landed on the other side of the country. And those days, it was called family troubles. Today, it'd be called kidnapping.

You think that true love is the only thing that crush your heart. The thing that will take your life and light it out. Or destroy it. Then, you become a mother.

Season 8, Episode 1: Free Falling

“Even good marriages fail. One minute you're standing on solid ground, the next minute- you're not. And there're always two versions. Yours, and theirs. The both versions start the same way though. The both start with two people falling in love. You think yours is the one that's gonna make it. So it always comes as a shock. The moment you realize it's over. One minute you're standing on solid ground, the next minute, you're not.”

“Do you have what it takes? If your marriage is in trouble, can you weather the storm? When the ground gives way and your world collapses, maybe you just need to have faith. And trust that you can survive this together. Maybe you just need to hold on tight. And no matter what, don't let go.”

Season 7, Episode 22: Unaccompanied Minor

"Okay, so... this is the house. There's another house where you're gonna have your own room. But that right now is just wood and no walls. So we're gonna stay here for a while. Derek? Okay, he might be AWOL, he's had a bad day, and he's a little pissed off right now. But we're gonna be fine. So we had a big plan if this even worked out. We were gonna have a lullaby from Malawi to make everything feel homey for you. To be honest right now, I can't even thing of an American lullaby. Lexie? You know, a lot of people live here. It gets kinda crazy sometimes and it's usually not this quiet. Alex? Okay. We're gonna be okay. You and I. We're a team, right? We're tough. We have that in common. I am very glad you're here. I didn't think your first day is gonna be quite like this. But, I'm gonna get it together and we're gonna figure it out."

"I always said I'd be happier alone. I'd have my work, my friends... But someone in your life all the time? More trouble than it's worth. Apparently, I got over it. There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't cause I thought because I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone, and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love. And then you don't have it. What if you like it? And lean on it? What if you shape your life around it? And then... it falls apart. Can you even survive that kind of pain? Loosing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is – death ends. This? It could go on forever."

Season 7, Episode 21: I Will Survive

"We've all heard the same. It's one of those things we learn in the seventh grade's science class. Adapt or die. Adapting isn't easy though. You have to fight your competition. Defend of their attacks. And sometimes, you have to kill. You do what you need to do to survive."

"Adapt or die. As many times as we've heard it, the lesson doesn't get any easier. The problem is, we're human. We want more than just to survive. We want love, we want success. We wanna be the best that we can be. So we fight like hell to get those things. Anything else feels... like death."

Season 7, Episode 20: White Wedding

“Germs, disease, toxins. Our bodies encounter dangers all the time. Just beneath the surface. Hidden. Whether you realize it or not, your body is constantly protecting itself. Every time you blink your eye, you wash away a thousands of unwanted microbes, breathe in too much unwanted pollen, and you sneeze. The body knows when it's encountered something that doesn't belong. The body detects the invader, it releases it's white blood cells, and it attacks.”

“Just when we think we have figured things out, the universe throws us a curve ball. So we have to improvise. We find happiness in unexpected places. We find our way back to things that matter the most. The universe is funny that way. Sometimes, it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong.”

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Season 7, Episode 19: It's a Long Way Back

“After a trauma, your body is at its most vulnerable. Response time is critical. So you're suddenly surrounded by people—doctors, nurses, specialists, technicians—surgery is a team sport; Everyone pushing for the finish line, putting you back together again. But surgery is a trauma in and of itself, and once it's over, the real healing begins. It's called recovery. Recovery is not a team sport. It's a solitary distance run. It's long. It's exhausting. And it's lonely as hell.”

“The length of your recovery is determined by the extent of your injuries. And it's not always successful. No matter how hard we work at it. Some wounds might never fully heal. You might have to adjust to a whole new way of living. Things may have changed too radically to ever go back to what they were. You might not even recognize yourself. It's like you haven't recovered anything at all. You're a whole new person with a whole new life.”

Season 7, Episode 18: Song Beneath The Song

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Season 7, Episode 17: This is How we Do It

“Renegades. Rule-breakers. Gangsters with scalpels.  This is the way we like to think of ourselves.  It makes us feel bad-ass.  Sexy. Problem is, it's not  exactly true.  At heart, we're rule followers.  Sheep.  We don't break protocol - we follow it to a "T".  Because if we don't follow protocol, our patients die, and then we're no longer bad-ass, we're just bad.  It's every doctor's dilemma.  Do you play it safe and follow protocol? Or take a risk and invent a new one? There can be reward in risk.  There can also be fallout. Still, you need to buck the system every once in a while.  Big.  And when you get the results you want, there's no better feeling in the world.  But when you don't....”

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Season 7, Episode 16: Not Responsible

“Everyone figures doctors are the most responsible people they know. They hold lives in their hands. They're not flakes. They don't lose track of important details or make stunningly bad judgment calls. 'Cause that would be bad, right?”


We are responsible with our patients. The problem is we blow it all out at work. In our own lives, we can't think things through. We don't make the sound choice. We did that all day at the hospital. When it comes to ourselves, we've got nothing left. And is it worth it—being responsible? Because if you take your vitamins and pay your taxes and never cut the line, the universe still gives you people to love and then lets them slip through your fingers like water, and then what have you got? Vitamins and nothing.”

It always feels like there is just one person in this world to love, and then you find somebody else, and it just seems crazy you ever worried in the first place.”

Season 7, Episode 15: Golden Hour

“How much can you actually accomplish in an hour? Run an errand maybe, sit in traffic, get an oil change. When you think about it an hour isn't very long. Sixty minutes. Thirty-six hundred seconds. That's it. In medicine, though, an hour is often everything. We call it the golden hour. That magical window of time that can determine whether a patient lives or dies.”


An hour, one hour, can change everything forever. An hour can save your life. An hour can change your life. Sometimes an hour is a gift we give ourselves. For some, an hour can mean almost nothing. For others, an hour makes all the difference in the world. But in the end, it's still just an hour. One of many. Many more to come. Sixty minutes. Thirty-six hundred seconds. That's it. Then it starts all over again. And who knows what the next hour might hold.”

 

Source: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Grey%27s_Anatomy#Push_.5B6.17.5D

Season 7, Episode 14: P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)

“One of the hardest lessons as a doctor is learning to prioritize. We're trained to do all we can to save life and limb, but, if cutting off a limb, means saving a life, we learn to do it without hesitation. It's not an easy lesson to learn, and it always comes down to one question, "what are the stakes?" What do we stand to gain or lose? At the end of the day, we're just gamblers trying not to bet the farm.”


Surgery is a high stakes game. But no matter how high the stakes, sooner or later, you're just going to have to go with your gut, and, maybe just maybe, that'll take you right where you were meant to be in the first place.”

No matter how high the stakes, sooner or later you're just gonna have to go with your gut. And maybe, just maybe, that'll take you right where you were supposed to be.”

Source: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Grey%27s_Anatomy#Push_.5B6.17.5D

Season 7, Episode 13: Don't Deceive Me (Please Don't Go)

“Doctors practice deception all the time. We give vague answers to hard questions. We don't talk about post-op pain. We say you'll experience some discomfort. If you didn't die, we tell you that surgery went well. But the placebo has to be the doctors greatest deception. Half of our patients we tell the truth, the other half, we pray that the placebo effect is real. And we tell ourselves that they'll feel better anyhow. Believing help is on the way, when in fact, we're leaving them to die.”

 

“Doctors practice deception every day. On our patients, on their families… But the worst deception we practice is on ourselves. Which is why sometimes it takes us a while to realize that the truth has been in front of us the whole time.”

 

Source: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Grey%27s_Anatomy#Push_.5B6.17.5D

Season 7, Episode 12: Start Me Up

People are really romantic about the beginnings of things. Fresh start, clean slate, a world of possibility. But no matter what new adventure you're embarking on, you're still you. You bring you into every new beginning in your life. So how different can it possibly be?”

 

“It's all anybody wants, right? Clean slate, a new beginning. Like that's gonna be any easier. Ask the guy pushing the boulder up the hill. Nothing is easy about starting over. Nothing at all.”

 

Source: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Grey%27s_Anatomy#Push_.5B6.17.5D

Season 7, Episode 11: Disarm

To a degree, medicine is a science...but I would argue that it's also an art. The doctors who see medicine as a science only, you don't want them by your side when you're bleeding won't stop or when your child is screaming in pain. The clinicians go by the book. The artists follow their guts. The artists feel your pain and they go to extremes to make it stop. Extreme measures. That's where science ends and art begins.”

 

“Surgery is extreme. We cut into your body, take out pieces, and put what's left back together. Good thing life doesn't come with a scalpel because if it did, when things started to hurt, we would just cut and cut and cut. The thing is what we take away with a scalpel we can't ever get back. So, like a said, good thing.”


Source: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Grey%27s_Anatomy#Push_.5B6.17.5D

Season 7, Episode 10: Adrift and at Peace

The goal of any surgery is total recovery - to come out better than you were before. Some patients heal quickly and feel immediate relief. For others the healing happens gradually, and it's not until months or even years later that you realize you don't hurt anymore. So the challenge after any surgery is to be patient. But if you can make it through the first weeks and months, if you believe that healing is possible, then you can get your life back. But that's a big if.”

 

“The first 24 hours after surgery are critical. Every breath you take, every fluid you make, is meticulously reported and analyzed. Celebrated or mourned. But what about the next 24 hours? What happens with that first day turns to two and weeks turn into months? What happens when the immediate danger has passed, when the machines are disconnected and the teams of doctors and nurses are gone? Surgery is when you get saved, but post-op, after surgery, is when you heal. But, what if you don't?”

 

Source: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Grey%27s_Anatomy#Push_.5B6.17.5D

Season 7, Episode 9: Slow Night, So Long

“We doctors, take pride in the fact that we can basically sleep standing up. Anytime, anywhere. But it's a false pride because the truth is, after about 20 hours without sleep, you might as well just come to work drunk, doctor, or not. So, it's no wonder that fatal medical errors increase at night. When we doctors are, proudly, sleeping on our feet. Recently, our communal pride has been shattered, and our egos have been wounded by new laws that require that we sleep all day before we work all night. We're not happy about it. But as someone who might one day need medical care, you really should be.”

“Under the cover of darkness, people do things they'd never do under the harsh glare of day. Decisions feel wiser, people feel bolder. But when the sun rises, you have to take responsibility for what you did in the dark and face yourself under the cold, harsh light of day.”

Season 7, Episode 8: Something's Gotta Give

“The human body is a highly pressurized system the blood pressure measures the force of blood pulsating through the arteries. It's important to keep this pressure regulated low or inadequate pressure can cause weakness or failure. It's when the pressure gets too high that problems really occur. If the pressure continues to increase, a closer examination is called for because it's the best indicator that something is going terribly wrong.”


Every pressurized system needs a relief valve, there has to be a way to reduce the stress, the tension before it becomes too much to bear. There has to be a way to find relief because if the pressure doesn't find a way out it'll make one. It will explode. It's the pressure we put on ourselves that's the hardest to bear. The pressure to be better than we are. The pressure to be better than we think we can be. It never ever lets up. It just builds and builds and builds. We never know.”

Source: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Grey%27s_Anatomy#Push_.5B6.17.5D

Season 7, Episode 7: That’s My Trying

“Question - when was the last time a complete stranger took off her clothes in front of you, pointed to a big purple splotch on her back, and asked,” what the hell is this thing?" If you are a normal person, the answer is, hopefully, never. If you are a doctor the answer is, probably, about five minutes ago. People expect doctors to have all of the answers. The truth is: we love to think that we have all of the answers, too. Basically, doctors are know-it-alls, until something comes along that reminds us we're not.”

“We're all looking for answers in medicine, in life, in everything. Sometimes the answers we're looking for have been hiding just below the surface. Other times we find answers when we didn't even realize we were asking the question. Sometimes the answers can catch us completely by surprise. And sometimes, even when we find the answer we've been looking for we're still left with a whole hell of a lot of questions.”

Season 7, Episode 6: These Arms of Mine

“Being a hero has its price.”

Season 7, Episode 5: Almost Grown

“They train doctors slowly. They watch us practice on frogs, and pigs, and dead people, and then live people. They drill us relentlessly. They raise us like children. And eventually, they take a cold, hard boot, and they kick us out of the nest.”

“We all want to grow up. We're desperate to get there, to grab all the opportunities
we can, to live. We're so busy trying to get out of that nest. We don't think about the fact that it's going to be cold out there. Really freakin' cold. Because growing up sometimes means leaving people behind. And by the time we stand on our own two feet, we’re standing there alone.”

Season 7, Episode 4: Can't Fight Biology

“Biology determines much of the way we live. From the moment we're born we know how to breathe and eat. As we grow older, new instincts kick in. We become territorial, we seek shelter… And most important of all, we reproduce. Sometimes biology can turn on us though. Yeah, biology sucks sometimes.”

“Biology says that we are who we are from birth, that our DNA is set in stone, unchangeable. Our DNA doesn’t account for all of us, though. We’re human. Life changes us. We develop new traits, become less territorial. We stop competing. We learn from our mistakes. We face our greatest fears. For better or worse, we find ways to become more than our biology. The risk, of course, is that we can change too much to the point, we don’t recognize ourselves. Finding our way back can be difficult: There’s no compass, no map. We just have to close our eyes, take a step, and hope to God we’ll get there.”

Season 7, Episode 3: Superfreak

“Most surgeons grew up being freaks. While other kids played outside, we hold up in our rooms, memorizing the periodic table, hovering for hour over our genuine microscopes, dissecting our first frogs. Imagine how surprised and relieved we were when we grew up and found out that others out there are just as freaky as we were. Same microscopes, same dead frogs, same inexplicable urge to take human beings apart.”

“Nobody chooses to be a freak. Most people don't realize they're a freak until it's way too late to change it. No matter how much of a freak you end up being, chances are there's still someone out there for you. Unless of course, they've already moved on. Because when it comes to love, even freaks can't wait forever.”

Season 7, Episode 2: Shock to the System

“They say lightning never strikes twice, but that is a myth. It doesn't happen often, lightening usually gets it right the first time. When you're hit with 30,000 amps of electricity you feel it. It can make you forget who you are. It can burn you, blind you, stop your heart. And cause massive internal injuries. But, for something that happens in only a millisecond, it can change your life forever.”

“Lightning doesn't often strike twice. It's a once in a lifetime thing. Even if it feels like the shock is coming over and over again. Eventually the pain will go away, the shock will wear off. And you start to heal yourself. To recover from something you never saw coming. But, sometimes the odds are in your favor. If you're in just the right place at just the right time you can take a helluva hit. And still have a shot at surviving.”

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Season 7, Episode 1: With You, I’m Born Again

“Every cell in the human body regenerates on average every seven years. Like snakes, in our own way, we shed our skin. Biologically, we are brand new people. We may look the same, we probably do. The change isn't visible, at least not in most of us. But we are all changed, completely, forever.”

“When we say things like ‘people don’t change’, it drives scientists crazy, because change is literally the only constant in all of science. Energy, matter, it’s always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying. It’s the way people try not to change that’s unnatural; the way we cling to what things were instead of letting them be what they are; the way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones; the way we insist on believing, despite any scientific indication, that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change, that’s up to us. It can feel like death, or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenalin. Like at any moment, we can have another chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born allover again.”

Season 6, Episode 24: Death and All His Friends

“The human life is made up of choices. Yes or no. In or out. Up or down. And then there are the choices that matter. Love or hate. To be a hero or to be a coward. To fight or to give in. To live. Or die. Live or die. That’s the important choice. And it’s not always in our hands.”

“Yes or no. In or out. Up or down. Live or die. Hero or coward. Fight or give in. I’ll say it again to make sure you hear me. The human life is made up of choices. Live or die. That’s the most important choice. And it’s not always in our hands.”

Season 6, Episode 23: Sanctuary

“For most people, the hospital is a scary place, a hostile place, a place where bad things happen. Most people would prefer church, or school, or home, but I grew up here. While my mom was on rounds, I learned to read in the OR gallery, I played in the morgue, I colored with crayons on old ER charts. The hospital was my church, my school, my home; the hospital was my safe place, my sanctuary. I love it here. Correction: loved it here.”

Season 6, Episode 22: Shiny Happy People

“It's a common belief that positive thinking leads to a happier healthier life. As children we are told to smile, be cheerful, and put on a happy face. As adults we are told to look on the bright side, to make lemonade, and see glasses as half full. Sometimes reality can get in the way of our ability to act the happy part though. Your health can fail, boyfriends can cheat, friends can disappoint. It's in these moments, when you just want to get real, drop the act, and be your true scared unhappy self.”

“Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple - to be happy. Maybe it's this expectation though of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try to will ourselves to states of bliss, the more confused we get - to the point where we don't recognize ourselves. Instead we just keep smiling - trying to be the happy people we wish we were. Until it eventually hits us, it's been there all along. Not in our dreams or our hopes but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar.”

Season 6, Episode 21: How Insensitive

“The skin is the largest organ in the body. It protects us; Holds us together. Literally lets us know how we’re feeling. The skin can be soft and vulnerable, highly sensitive, easy to break. Skin doesn’t matter to a surgeon, we’ll cut right through it, go inside, find out the secrets underneath. It takes delicacy and sensitivity.”

No matter how thick-skinned we try to be, there’s millions of electrifying nerve endings in there. Open and exposed and feeling way too much. Try as we might from feeling pain. Sometimes it’s just unavoidable. Sometimes, that’s the only thing left: just feeling.”

Season 6, Episode 20: Hook, Line and Sinner

As doctors we have an arsenal of weapons after any. Antibiotics to kill infections. Narcotics to fight pain. Scalpels and retractors to remove tumours and cancers - to eradicate the threat. But just the physical threat, for every other threat - you are on your own.”

Season 6, Episode 19: Sympathy for the Parents

“Psychologists believe that every aspect of our lives, all our thought processes and behavior patterns are the direct result of our relationship to our parents; that every relationship that we have is really just another version of that first relationship. It's just us trying over & over again to get it right.”

“It's the most important job in the world. You probably should need a license to do it, but then most of us wouldn't even pass the written exam. Some people are naturals. They were born to do it. Some have other gifts. But the good news is biology dictates you don't have to do it alone. You can waste your whole life wondering, but the only way to find out what kind of parent you'd be is to finally stop talking about it and just do it.”

Season 6, Episode 18: Suicide is Painless

“Dying isn't easy. The body was designed to stay alive; thick skull, strong heart, keen senses. When the body starts to fail, medicine takes over. Surgeons are arrogant enough to think there's no one they can’t save. Like I said dying isn't easy.”

“Living is better than dying... until it's not. But even if letting a person die is the right thing to do, it's not what surgeons are built for. We are arrogant and competitive. We don’t like to lose and death feels like a loss even when we know it’s not. We know it’s time. We know it’s right. We know we did everything we could. It is hard to shake that feeling that you could have done more.”

Source: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Grey%27s_Anatomy#Push_.5B6.17.5D

Season 6, Episode 17: Push

 “Surgeons aren't complacent people. We don’t put our feet up. We don’t sit still. Whatever the game is, we like to win. And once we win, we get a new game. We push ourselves; residents, attending. It doesn’t matter how much we achieve. If you’re a climber there’s always another mountain.”

“They take pictures of mountain climbers at the top of a mountain. They’re smiling, ecstatic, triumphant. They don’t take pictures along the way ‘cos who wants to remember the rest of it. We push ourselves because we have to, not because we like it. The relentless climb, the pain and anguish of taking it to the next level. Nobody takes pictures of that. Nobody wants to remember. We just wanna remember the view from the top. The breathtaking moment at the edge of the world. That’s what keeps us climbing. And it’s worth the pain. That’s the crazy part. It’s worth anything.”

Season 6, Episode 16: Perfect Little Accident

“Surgeons are detail-oriented. We like statistics and checklists and operating procedures. Our patients live because we enjoy following the steps but as much as we love to always rely on the numbers, the plan we also know that some of the greatest medical discoveries have happened by accident. Mold: Penicilin. Poisonous tree bark: a cure for Malaria, a little blue pill for high blood pressure, impotence be damned. It’s hard for us to accept that it’s not always the hard work or attention to detail that will get us the answers we are looking for. Sometimes we just have to sit back, relax and wait for happy accident.”

No matter how many plans we make or steps we follow, we never know how our day is going to end up. We’d prefer to know, of course, what curveballs will be thrown our way. It’s the accidents that always turn out to be the most interesting parts of our day, the people we never expected to show up, a turn of events we never would have chose for ourselves. All of a sudden you find yourself somewhere you never expected to be and its nice, or it takes some getting used to. Still, maybe you’ll find yourself appreciating it somewhere down the line. So you go to sleep each night thinking about tomorrow, going over your plans, preparing for them, and hoping that whatever accidents come your way will be happy ones.”

Season 6, Episode 15: The Time Warp

“I've seen a lot of surgery residents come and go in my time and they are all addicted to surgery. It comes before food, before sleep, it becomes the most important thing; the only thing. What they don't know is that living off that high can eat them alive. So make it through, they come out on the other side. They survive, with their sanity intact. They become better doctors and stronger people. I didn't. I'm broken. I didn't kill anybody and I give thanks for that every day. But I hurt people and scared the hell out of myself.
I am 45 days sober today. I'm Richard and I am a grateful and recovering alcoholic.”

It changes you, this work. Your patients, your colleagues, you change each other. You don't ever think you'll lose your way. But what happens in this hospital... just remember why you came here. You said it the day you graduated from med school. You took the Physician's oath. Remember it; tape it to your bathroom mirror.Cause it is to easy to lose your way.”

I solemnly swear pledge to consecrate my life to the service of humanity. I will give to my teachers the respect and gratitude that is their due. I will practice my profession with conscience and dignity. The health of my patients will be my number one consideration. I will respect the secrets that are confided in me, even after my patient has died. I will maintain by all the means in my power, the honor and the noble traditions of the medical profession. My colleagues will be my sisters and brothers. I will not permit considerations of age, disease or disability, creed, ethnic origin, gender, race, political affiliation, nationality, sexual orientation, social standing or any other factor to intervene between my duty and my patient. I will maintain the utmost respect for human life. I will not use my medical knowledge to violate human rights and civil liberties, even under threat. I make these promises solemnly, freely and upon my honor.”
Declaration of Geneva 1948, Physician's Oath

Season 6, Episode 14: Valentine's Day Massacre

“The surgical scalpel is made of sterilized, carbonized, stainless steel. This is a vast improvement over the first scalpel, which was pretty much a sharp stick. Medicine is constantly reinventing itself. That means surgeons have to constantly reinvent themselves too. There's constant pressure to adapt to changes. It can be a painful process. But without it, you'll find yourself moving backwards instead of forwards.”

”We have to keep reinventing ourselves almost every minute, because the world can change in an instant. And there's no time for looking back. Sometimes the changes are forced on us. Sometimes they happen by accident... and we make the most of them. We have to constantly come up with new ways to fix ourselves. So we change, we adapt, we create new versions of ourselves. We just need to be sure that this one is an improvement over the last.”

Season 6, Episode 13: State of Love and Trust

“We ask a lot of our patients. We put them to sleep, cut them open, poke around in their brains, make cuts with sharp instruments. We ask for their blind trust. Irony is, trust is hard for surgeons, because we are trained from day one that we can not trust anyone but ourselves. The only instincts you can count on are your own. The only skills you can count on are your own. Until one day, you leave the classroom and step into the OR. You're surrounded by others, a team of others. A team you have to rely on... whether you trust them or not.”

I know it's been a long day and we're all anxious to get home. But I feel like we got off on the wrong foot this morning. I don't expect to win your trust overnight. But I want each of you to know, you have mine. Which is why I felt it was important to personally come in here and apologize. I want to clear some things up; I am neither pro nor anti-merger. From this point on everyone has a clean slate. I am not focused on the past. I'm looking into the future, to all the promise this hospital has to offer. I plan to honor Richard Webber and his legacy, not undo it. Which is why I'm both humbled and honored to be your new Chief of Surgery.”

Season 6, Episode 12: I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked

“Number one rule of surgery is limit exposure. Keep your hands clean, your incisions small and your wounds covered. Number two rule of surgery, is when rule number one stops working... try something else; because sometimes you can't limit exposure. Sometimes the injury is so bad that you have to cut and cut big.”

In surgery, the healing process begins with a cut, an incision, the tearing of flesh. We have to damage the healthy flesh, in order to expose the unhealthy. It feels cruel, and against common sense. But it works. You risk exposure, for the sake of healing. And when it's over, once the incision has been closed, you wait. You wait and you hope that your patient will heal. That you haven't in fact, just made everything worse.”

Season 6, Episode 11: Blink

“We assume the really serious changes in our lives happen slowly; over time. But it's not true. The big stuff happens in an instant. Becoming an adult, becoming a parent, becoming a doctor, one minute you're not... and the next... you are. Ask any doctor and they can tell point to the one moment they became a physician. It usually isn't med school graduation day. Whatever it is, nobody forgets it. Sometimes you don't even know anything's changed. You think, you're still you and your life is still your life. But you wake up one day and look around and you don't recognize anything... not anything at all.”

”You never forget the moment you become a doctor. A switch flips; suddenly you're not playing dress-up anymore. You own the white coat. What you may not notice is the moment that being a doctor... changes you.”

Season 6, Episode 10: Holidaze

“The best gift I ever got was for Christmas when I was ten: My very first suture kit. I used it until my fingers bled. And then I tried to use it to stitch up my fingers. It put me on the path to becoming a surgeon. My point is, sometimes the best gifts come in really surprising packages.

Everyday, we get to give the gift of life. It can be painful. It can be terrifying. But in the end, it's worth it; Every time. We all have the opportunity to give. Maybe the gifts are not as dramatic as what happens in the operating room. Maybe the gift is to try and make a simple apology. Maybe it's to understand another persons point of view. Maybe it's to hold a secret for a friend. The joy supposedly is in the giving. So when the joy is gone, when the giving starts to feel more like a burden, that's when you stop. But if you're like most people I know, you give till it hurts... and then you give some more.”

Season 6, Episode 9: New History

“Doctors live in a world of constant progress and forward motion. Stand still for a second and you'll be left behind. But as hard as we try to move forward, as tempting as it is to never look back, the past always comes back to bite us in the ass. And as history shows us again and again; those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.”

”Sometimes the past is something you just can't let go of. And sometimes the past is something we'll do anything to forget. And sometimes we learn something new about the past, that changes everything we know about the present.”

Season 6, Episode 8: Invest In Love

“It's impossible to describe the panic that comes over you, when you're a surgeon and your pager goes off in the middle of the night. Your heart starts to race, your mind freezes, your fingers go numb, you're invested. There's someone’s mom, someone’s dad, someone’s kid; and now it's on you. That someone’s life is now in your hands. As surgeons, we're always invested in our patients. But when your patient's a child, you're not just invested, you're responsible. Responsible for whether or not that child survives, has a future. And that's enough to terrify anyone.”

They say the bigger your investment, the bigger your return. But you have to be willing to take a chance. You have to understand, you might lose it all. But if you take that chance, if you invest wisely, the payoff might just surprise you.”

Season 6, Episode 7: Give Peace a Chance

“Ask most surgeons why they became surgeons and they usually tell you the same thing; it was for the high, the rush, the thrill that comes from cutting someone open and saving their life. For me it was different, maybe it's because I grew up in a house with four sisters. No, definitely because I grew up in a house with four sisters; Because it was the quiet that drew me to surgery. The operating room is a quiet place, peaceful; it has to be in order for us to stay alert, and to stave complications. When you stand in the OR, your patient open on the table, all the world's noise, all the worries that it brings disappears.
A calm settles over you. Time is passing without thought. For that moment you feel completely at peace.”

Ask most surgeons, why they became surgeons. They usually tell you the same thing; the high, the rush, the thrill of the cut. For me, it was the quiet. Peace isn't a permanent state. It exists in moments. Fleeting; gone before we even knew it was there. We can experience it at any time; in a stranger’s act of kindness. A task that requires complete focus; or simply the comfort of an old routine. Everyday, we all experience these moments of peace. The trick is to know when they're happening. So that we can embrace them, live in them... and finally let them go.”

Season 6, Episode 6: I Saw What I Saw

"In order to get a good diagnosis, doctors have to constantly change their perspective. We start by getting the patient's point of view, though they often don't have a clue what's going on. So we look at the patient from every possible angle. We rule things out. We uncover new information, trying to get to what's actually wrong. We're asked for second opinions, hoping we'll see something others might have missed. For the patient, a fresh perspective can mean the difference between living and dying. For the doctor, it can mean you're picking a fight with everyone who got there before you.”

When we're heading toward an outcome that's too horrible to face, that's when we go looking for a second opinion. And sometimes, the answers we get, just confirms our
worst fears. But sometimes, it can shed new light on the problem. Make you see it in a whole new way. After all the opinions have been heard and every point of view has been considered, you finally find what you were after: The truth. But the truth isn't where it ends. That's just where you begin again. With a whole new set of questions.

Season 6, Episode 5: Invasion

“When you get sick it starts out with a single bacteria; one lone, nasty intruder. Pretty soon the intruder duplicates; becomes two. Then those two become four. And those four become eight. Then before your body knows it, it's under attack. It's an invasion. The question for a doctor is, once the invaders have landed, once they've taken over your body... How the hell do you get rid of them?”

What do you do when the infection hits you? When it takes over? Do you do what you're supposed to and take your medicine? Or do you learn to live with the thing and hope that someday it goes away? Or do you just give up entirely and let it kill you?”

Season 6, Episode 4: Tainted Obligation

“We begin life with few obligations; we pledge allegiance to the flag, we swear to return our library books. But as we get older we take vows, we make promises, we get burdened by commitments to do no harm, to tell the truth and nothing but, to love and cherish till
death do us part. So we just keep running up a tap until we owe everything to everybody and suddenly think: what the…”

The thing about being a surgeon, everybody wants a piece of you. We take one little oath and suddenly we're drowning in obligations; to our patients, to our colleagues, to medicine itself. So we do what any sane person would do, we run like hell from our promises. Hoping they'll be forgotten. But sooner or later, they always catch up. And sometimes you find the obligation you dread the most... isn't worth running from at all.”

Season 6, Episode 3: I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watchin' Me

“Paranoia gives you an edge in the OR. Surgeons play out "worst case scenarios" in their heads. You're ready to close, you've got the bleeder, you know it, but there's that voice in your head asking... what if you didn't? What if the patient dies and you could have prevented it? So you check your work one more time before you close. Paranoia is a surgeon's best friend.”

We're all susceptible to it: The dread and anxiety of not knowing what's coming. It's pointless in the end. Because all the worrying and all the making of plans for things that could or could not happen, it only makes things worse. So walk your dog or take a nap. Just whatever you do, stop worrying. Because the only cure for paranoia, is to be here, just as you are.”

Season 6, Episode 2: Goodbye

“The dictionary defines grief as keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; Sharp sorrow, painful regret. As surgeons, as scientists, we're taught to learn from and rely on books, on definitions, on definitives. But in life, strict definitions rarely apply. In life, grief can look like a lot of things that bare little resemblance to sharp sorrow.”

Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn't just death we have to grieve, it's life, it's loss, it's change. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad, the thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime. That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breathe. That's how you survive. By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much. Grief comes in it's own time for everyone; In it's own way. So the best we can do, best anyone can do, is try for honesty.  The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief, is that you can't control it.  The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it, when it comes, and let it go when we can. The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away. There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.”

Season 6, Episode 1: Good Mourning

“According to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, when we are dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we move through five distinct stages of grief. We go into denial, because the loss is so unthinkable. We can't imagine it's true. We become angry with everyone: Angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We beg, we plead, we offer everything we have, we offer up our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is just too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair.
Until finally we have to accept that we have done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance.”

In medical school we have a hundred classes that teach us how to fight off death. And not one lesson in how to go on living.”

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Season 5, Episode 23: Now or Never

“Doctors spend a lot of time focused on the future. Planning it. Working toward it. But at some point, you start to realize, your life is happening now, not after med school, not after residency, right now. This is it, it’s here. Blink, and you’ll miss it.”

“Did you say it? I love you? I don’t ever want to live without you. You changed my life… did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work towards it. But every now and then, look around. Drink it in. ‘Cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.”

Season 5, Episode 22: Here’s to the Future

“When something begins, you generally have no idea how it is going to end. The house you were going to sell, becomes your home. The roommates you were forced to take in, become your family. And the one-night stand you were determined to forget, becomes the love of your life.”

“We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future. As if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears, and our wildest hopes. But one thing is certain: When it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it.”

Season 5, Episode 21: What a Difference a Day Makes

“You never know the biggest day of your life is going to be the biggest. The days you think are going to be big ones, they’re never as big as you make them out to be in your head. It’s the regular days. The ones that start out normal. Those are the days that end up being the biggest. And today was the wedding. It was beautiful. Perfect.”

“You never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day. Not until its happening. You don’t recognize the biggest day of your life. Not until you’re right in the middle of it. The day you commit to something or someone… The day you get your heart broken. The day you meet your soul mate. The day you realize there’s not enough time… because you want to live forever. Those are the biggest days. The perfect days.”

Season 5, Episode 20: No Good at Saying Sorry (One More Chance)

“Remember when we were little, and we’d accidentally bite a kid on the playground? Our teachers would go, “Say you’re sorry.” and we would say it, but we wouldn’t mean it. Because the stupid kid we bit… totally deserved it. But, as we get older, making amends isn’t so simple. After the playground days are over, you can’t just say it, you have to mean it. Of course, when you become a doctor, “sorry” is not a happy word. It either means “You’re dying and I can’t help”, or it means, “This is really gonna hurt.”

“As doctors, we can’t undo our mistakes, and we rarely forgive ourselves for them. But it’s a hazard of the trade. But as human beings, we can always try to do better, to be better, to right a wrong, even when it feels irreversible. Of course, “I’m sorry” doesn’t always cut it. Maybe because we use it so many different ways. As a weapon, as an excuse. But when we are really sorry, when we use it right, when we mean it, when our actions say what words never can… when we get it right, “I’m sorry” is perfect. When we get it right, “I’m sorry” is redemption.”

Season 5, Episode 19: Sweet Surrender

“Defeat isn't an option. Not for surgeons. We don’t back away from the table till the last breath’s long gone. “Terminal” is a challenge. “Life threatening” is what gets us out of bed in the morning. We’re not easily intimidated. We don’t flinch, we don’t back down, and we certainly don’t surrender. Not at work, anyway.”

“To do our jobs we have to believe defeat is not an option. That no matter how sick our patients get, there’s hope for them. But even when our hopes give way to reality and we finally have to surrender to the truth, it just means we’ve lost today’s battle, not tomorrow’s war. Here’s the thing about surrender: Once you do it, actually give in, you forget why you were even fighting in the first place.”

Season 5, Episode 18: Elevator Love Letter

“Surgeons are all messed up. We’re butchers. Messed up, knife-happy butchers. We cut people up, we move on. Patients die on our watch, we move on. We cause trauma, we suffer trauma. We don’t have time to worry about how all the blood and death and crap really makes us feel.”

”Doesn’t matter how tough we are. Trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives, Trauma messes everybody up, but maybe that’s the point: All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward, it’s what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up.”

Season 5, Episode 17: Stand by Me

“Surgeons aren't known for being warm and cuddly. They’re arrogant, impatient, mean, as often as not. You’d think they wouldn't have friends, ’cause who could stand them? But surgeons are like a bad cold – nasty, but persistent. Surgeons: Nasty, aggressive, unstoppable. Just the kind of people you want on your side when you’re really screwed.”

“Practicing medicine doesn’t lend itself well to the making of friends. Maybe because life and mortality are in our faces all the time. Maybe because in staring down death every day, we’re forced to know that life, every minute, is borrowed time. And each person we let ourselves care about… is just one more loss, somewhere down the line. For this reason, I know some doctors who just don’t bother making friends at all. But the rest of us, we make it our job to move that line, to push each loss, as far away as we can.”

Season 5, Episode 16: I Will Follow You Into the Dark

“Every surgeon I know has a shadow. A dark cloud of fear and doubt that follows even the best of us into the O.R. We pretend the shadow isn't there, hoping that if we save more lives, master harder techniques, run faster and farther, it’ll get tired and give up the chase. But, like they say… you can’t outrun your shadow.”

“Every surgeon has a shadow, and the only way to get rid of a shadow… is to turn off the lights, to stop running from the darkness, and face what you fear – head on.”

Season 5, Episode 15: An Honest Mistake

“There’s this thing that happens when people find out you’re a doctor. They stop seeing you as a person, and begin to see you as something bigger than you are. They have to see us that way, as gods. Otherwise, we’re just like everyone else – unsure, flawed, normal. So we act strong, we remain stoic. We hide the fact that we’re all too human.”

“Patients see us as gods. Or, they see us as monsters. But the fact is, we’re just people. We screw up. We lose our way. Even the best of us have our off days. Still, we move forward. We don’t rest on our laurels or celebrate the lives we saved in the past. Because there’s always some other patient that needs our help. So, we force ourselves to keep trying, to keep learning… in the hope that maybe, someday, we’ll come just a little bit closer to the gods our patients need us to be.”

Season 5, Episode 14: Before and After

“Every patient’s story starts the same way. It starts with them being fine. It starts in the “before”. They cling to this moment, this memory of being fine, this “before”, as though talking about it may somehow bring it back. But what they don’t realize is that the fact that they’re talking about it to us, their doctors, means there’s no going back. By the time they see us, they’re already in the “after”. And while every patient’s story starts the same way, how the story ends, depends on us, on how well we diagnose and treat. We know the story hinges on us, and we all want to be the hero.”